Replacing The “But” in Parenting with “And”

I hear and read a lot of this statement:
“I love my kids but —“
This got me thinking about how language and thinking are so closely related. Parenting is a tough business and while many (most?) of us will try it for 20 yrs or so, we have a linguistic system that makes any complaint or realistic observation seem like we wish our kids would go Poof! This is not so, and I propose a change in wording and therefore a change in thought.

If I said “I love my son but it takes a lot time to feed him!” that makes it sound like “If I’d never had him I would have so much more time to do something other than feed the little bum.” While that is technically true, it’s not sentimentally true.
If I said “I love my son and it takes a lot of time to feed him!” I’ve just conveyed the enormous amount of time that goes into nursing & mealtimes for my darling boy without wishing he’d never been born.

So there it is.

“I love my son, and this MommyLapNap thing has GOT to end.” Not only is he getting too big for it, there’s stuff I need to be doing while he sleeps… like shower, eat, prepare his next meal, wash clothes, clean up, go pee, etc. Instead I’m sitting here making a blog post about conjunctions.

I actually did get him to lay down on the play mat for about 10 minutes of an alone-nap. Then the microwave beeped & that ended. I should have resisted the allure of hot coffee.

Ooh camera!

I love my son and he can make one heck of a mess!

 

Gratuitous cat picture

Thing 2 in all her infant cat glory.

 

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