Nursing: A Fountain of Boobajuice

WARNING: There’s a boob pic in this post (but no worse than you’d see in an underwear ad on the side of a bus, so don’t panic)

I want to get my son a onesie that says “I drinka da boobajuice.”
Maybe a bib because my little komodo dragon’s bibs cover the onesies.  Unless he wears them as superhero capes.

Nursing.  Breastfeeding.
Repeat after me “I am more than a milk factory.”

Breastfeeding was a no-brainer for me, we knew we were going to do this when we first decided to have a family way back in 2010.  We both knew it would be a 9 month commitment at the least, goal of 1 yr, possibility of more depending.

But ideals are find & dandy when they don’t have real life fussing in your lap at 3:30 a.m. attached to one boob while kicking the other & pulling your hair because he’s a multi-tasking kind of guy, with your left leg falling asleep & your right arm about to fall off and oh god he’s hungry again at 4:30 and 5:30 and 6:30 and FINALLY you can sleep in but your husband didn’t turn the alarm off and GAAH.  Oh wait, that’s “having a baby” not “breastfeeding.”  Sometimes I get the 2 confused.


Boobajuice 12 course meal, minimum 1 hour

We had latching problems in the beginning because he sucked in his bottom lip (still does), popped off constantly, there were engorgement issues, and to this day I’m horrible at pumping.  I had thrush in my milk ducts (take your probiotics ladies!) which was so painful I’d just cry – it was like glass in my breast.  He had a milk allergy, so I had to cut dairy; which would be fine if I wasn’t allergic to everything BUT dairy.  My shoulder got wrenched during the birth and so holding my own child was torture.  And he’d nurse for an hour.  Now he’s the 15 minute king, but the first 3 months were this insane insomnia nightmare of boobs & pain & fussing.  Most of that fussing was mine.  We made it to 3 months which was nothing short of miraculous, and then 4 and now 6 and we’re like the Boobajuice champs!  Massage therapy took care of the shoulder, he’s gotten better at eating faster (sometimes he still sits down to a 12 course meal), the thrush cleared up (ty probiotics) and the latching issues are mostly resolved.  I can eat cheese & milk again, but ice cream still has the poor boy in hives.  No broccoli.  Broccoli is bad.  I miss broccoli.  Umm… broccoli cheese casserole…

Yes, breastfeeding is totally natural.  But don’t let anyone tell you that it’s easy!  It gets easier.  Not the same thing at all.
I’m a huge fan of it.  I think every mother should try it for at least 2 weeks – with a certified lactation consultant there as back-up.  If it suits, I think the pair ought to continue for as long as they can.  There are too many benefits to both mom & baby not to at least try.  But oh lordie I understand why people don’t!  It takes a tremendous amount of dedication, and — do you know my boobs thought that honking geese were the same as a crying baby?  I leaked all over during migration season!  Stupid boobs.  6 months later the geese are back.  Stupid boobs.  For which I’m a huge fan of nursing pads.  Reusable & washable nursing pads.  Get 12 pairs because you will go through those things like nobody’s business.  There’s also this weird little cup thing that will catch leaked boobajuice (why waste it?)

Alas, it’s late, I’m exhausted (what’s new?) and the bed sheets need changing thanks to an aging cat and someone who didn’t make the bed this morning with the anti-aging-cat cover on it.  But then my memory is shot these days so I’ll forgive me this time.


OH!  How could I forget?  (That’s right, MommyBrain)
When you nurse full-time, one of the lovely benefits Mother Nature provides is that you don’t get your period.  Time frame is variable, but NOBODY TOLD ME THIS!  Instead they dangled the totally false “you’ll lose weight” carrot stick in front of me – which isn’t true BTW, it’s only true for 40% of nursing mothers, the rest of us are fat till we stop, which of course no one will tell you because then 40% of us would stop nursing in hopes of dropping baby weight.  Don’t bother, you look fabulous with those sleepless eye circles.  Trust me.  But seriously – No Period While Nursing.  Far better than a stupid carrot stick.


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